Sealegs and delayed gratification

It's been over four months since I my last blog. Completing a dissertation prevented me from writing since I am focusing all my attention on finishing the final product.

Endurance is the life theme that has permeated through my personal and academic lives for the past four months. I am continually enduring this hazing process that some folks call a doctorate program and at the same time prepared for my second marathon. I would say that completing the marathon was easier to complete than the dissertation. I cannot believe I have come to this conclusion. Perhaps it is due to the fact that I completed the marathon last Sunday and still running the marathon in a metaphoric sense in finishing my dissertation.

One thing that I hate about marathon training is the pain associated 72 hours post-race. When I first crossed the finish line (I will blog about the pain associated with running 26.2 miles at another time), all I could do was sigh with relief. I headed straight to the snack table to later be disappointed by the products within the goody bags (1 banana and 1 snack bar). I rummaged through the other goody bags and took whatever contents I found to fill my empty belly. Then, the fun part, trying to remember how to walk. I slowly hobbled to the massage tent and waited in line for a 10-minute post marathon massage. Ummm...felt good for the 10 minutes...oopsy...got to walk out the tent. So I had to learn the walking all over again.

Travelling back to Battle Creek (BC) was not a walk in the park. Sitting in a car for 2 hours is not fun at all. Getting up the stairs in a three-story house was not something to laugh about either. Would you believe as a means to postpone the pain and agony to go up the stairs, I created all kinds of distractions such as going to Chili's (I got hungry again!), filling the car with gas, and driving around as if I was seeing BC for the first time. Of course, I found anything to do that required limited walking. I finally mustered some courage to drive back to the house to begin the climb to the attic. Ouchy...ouchy!

Preparing for bed and going to sleep for the night did not improve matters. A shower only alleivated the pain for 5 seconds before the achy muscles, inflammation in the knees, and lactic acid reminded me of their presence. Of course, preparing for bed required more trips up and down the stairs...ouchy....ouchy! Then going to sleep. I understand the agony that older people suffer. I felt that my marathon pains were simulations of arthrisitis, buristis, back pain, etc...I remembered getting hungry within 2 hours of my REM 1 (catnap phase) sleep. So, I travelled down three flights of stairs to eat something, but only found 1/2 cup of chocolate soy milk and a piece of bread (I think!). Travelling back up the stairs I hope made me tired enough to fall in a deep sleep. I don't remember much (the pain made me unconscious), but I remembered waking up exhausted and my legs were bent liked two twin peaks. I guess it was too much pain to lay them flat against the mattress.

As if the fun ended that night, I had to travel to Arkansas for a job interview. Every step was a trial of endurance. I dreaded slopes and inclines leading to the places I had to travel. It took me about 8 minutes and 49 seconds to get to the entrance of my school building (normally a 45 second walk). In the airport, every departure and arrival terminal had an incline that looked like I was going up 8 flights of stairs. To make a long story short, I made it through the interview although my host ensured that I felt every ache and pain in my quads, hammies, knees, calves, and feet. We went up and down stairs to meet people. He would say in a coy manner, "Oh...I'm sorry, we should have taken the stairs." I know that he enjoyed every moment. He's an advanced marathon runner who qualified for the Olympic trials several years ago. Pain is not in his vocabulary. He is probably the type who could run 10 marathons in a span of 6 months.

Today is a better day! 72+ hours later (I stopped counting after 72 hours), I regained the feeling back in my legs. No more sealegs and I am sitting here thinking about my next marathon challenge. How sickening is that!

Most of my marathon post-recovery experience greatly relates to my dissertation. It's painful producing draft after draft after draft. You want to see the end of the pain, but it does not seem its in sight. You just keep working until you do.

Recently, I began to see what appeared to be the light at the tunnel. Opportunities to work for prestigious academic institutions appeared to want me for the skills, experiences, and talents that I have to offer. Even in the mist of these hard economic times, God's plans for me include job opportunities. Oh..I am very blessed and not taking it for granted. Finding the endurance to stick with the coursework, fumbling through comprehensive exams, going back to the drawing board time and time again to produce a product that my dissertation committee may agree on, giving up hobbies, quality time with family and friends, struggling to maintain confidence and understand a little about statistics...I think I am beginning to see the benefits of delayed gratification. I can only pray that this new career as a researcher will be better than being a health educator. I hope that the challenges and some rewards that I experienced in my ten years of practice will launch me into a place in life where I may begin to reap the rewards.

And just like the feeling of the marathon medallion being placed around my neck after 4 hours and 35 minutes of running, I pray to feel that same sense of victory when my committee says to me, "You have successful met all the requirements for your doctoral program." Congratulations, Dr. Barnes. Delayed gratification at its best. I am looking forward to rest from having "sealegs" after completing this part of the journey.