2010 Lesson #1: If it walks like a duck, and it talks like a duck, then it is a rabbit!

I cannot believe that there are 30 days remaining in 2010. Time has gone by so quickly. I remember on January 2 I was sitting in my parent's home wrestling with my dissertation...wondering if I was going to ever finish that darn paper. And now December 2, I am sitting in my living room thanking God that that darn paper is behind me, but I am wrestling with another document! It just proves that pain does not last always, but some things remain the same.

Reminiscing the events that occur this year made me think of several key lessons that I have learned and definitely continue to learn as I grow and mature as a person, as a professional, as a child of God. I thought that I should commit at least 15 minutes each day to blog for the next 30 days about major lessons I learned in 2010. Some of these lessons may be controversial, some may be life changing. Either way, I am becoming a little more comfortable with not needing to be perfect in everything, but to appreciate where I am in the present moment.

Lesson #1: If it walks like a duck, and it talks like a duck, then it is a rabbit!

Say what! This statement is contrary to what I heard as a kid. Most people would say, "if it walks like a duck, and it talks like a duck, then it is a duck." I am not totally abandoning this concept. For example, it a person is crass, rude, and inconsiderate, then we should come to the conclusion that a person is crass, rude, and inconsiderate. However, there are times that people show you what they want you to see. I think Paul Laurence Dunbar says it best:
"We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

I have seen this practice more in my professional circles. I realize that many people do not want to hear my struggles and insecurities, even if I am being honest. And yes, many people prefer more extraverted personalities than introverted ones. Over the years, I have learned to "appear" more extraverted. In fact, I would be a millionaire for the number of times someone tells me that I have a gift of connecting with people and making people feel comfortable. I always laugh when someone makes this observation and I tell them that I am truly intraverted. In reacting to my statement, the person laughs and dismisses my honesty. Perhaps because the evidence that is seen does not matches what I am telling the person. Well...I have learned that people respond more to an outgoing person as opposed to one who is inward and quiet. Especially in a profession that requires me to communicate and interact with different people, I was not getting very far being intraverted. So, I learned to be more extraverted in interacting with people. There is the "mask", at least a temporary mask, that people see. The duck. Deep down, I appreciate the time that I have to myself so I can recharge my soul, refocus my thoughts, and renew my sprit. The rabbit. In all honesty, the "mask" is just an outward expression on the compassion that I have for people and my desire to help others. Yes, there are many challenges that accompany this passion...some of these challenges have led to many nights where I have shedded a tears in which the "mask", the rabbit, appears. Sensitivity, tenderness, and yes introversion. But, I but the "mask" back on the next day in hopes of being a bright spot in someone's world.

The good news is that I am learning to appreciate the special people in my life who like the rabbit in me. These are the people that I can take the mask off and be me. Therefore, I need not waste my time become anxious about people who not desire to get to know me. I can celebrate in the people that God places in my life so my heart is perserved and I have even more strength to face the challenges that I face in the world. But this strength that I manifest to the word is courage, hope, and faith instead of fear, despair, and sorrow. Yes...not a duck...but a rabbit!