Rite of Passage

I talked with a colleague in my doctoral program who was extremely frustrated with her advisor, the research process, and broken expectations. I listened as she poured out her frustrations. As she talked, I could relate to every concerns that she shared. It was refreshing to her from a person whose current reality is full of school, job, and other life obligations. She asked me if I knew what I know now would I want a PhD. Of course, hindsight is 20/20. I told it depends on the day; however, I shared with her that I did not expect to feel incompetent. I often times heard that the more schooling that you receive, the more that you discover that you do not know. I should have asked people who had this belief when did they began to feel "smart" again. I can only have faith that I will empower myself to feel, be, and show more competence after surviving the rite of passage process... the DISSERTATION!

It's painful...
sometimes worse than a sinus infection.
I can never do enough work,
Look to my left, look to my right,
I am surrounded around research articles, books, binders, printer, computer that extend a good 12 feet!
It consumes me,
It's that monkey that won't get off your back....
That itch in the certain of your back that you cannot scratch.
I try to treat it as my second love (of course God comes first)
But it is never satisfied...
It demands more and more of me
It;s painful, I can never do enough work, it consumes me...
My dissertation!

It helps A LOT that I am not working anymore. I cannot believe that I was juggling so much. Now, I have no excuses. I am also grateful for the support received from my family and friends. A PhD is a rite of passage that you cannot do on your own. Well...on that note...I have to work on my dissertation.