"Party like a rock, Party like a rock star" (repeat 3-4 more times)
Totally dude!
~Da Shop Boyz
I believe that a person should at least feel like a rock star once during their lifetime. I always thought that my moment would accompany a seven figure salary. Nevertheless, it was an awesome yet fleeting 60 days. I was blessed with job offers for postdoctoral fellowships at three universities. It was nice to feel that my various experiences working in the bayou, cereal city, DC, and the mighty frontier of Alaska paid off. Although people gave me a hard time about moving a lot, I always have known that I was not meant to stay in one job forever. Particularly if I was not satisfied or did not see opportunities for professional growth.
So there was me in the corner, there was me in the spotlight, losing my mind trying to pick the best place for me. One university pulled out of the best tricks to convince me to join their team. Salary, designing my own research projects, teaching, experience writing book chapters... You know, what?! It worked. So, cream and crimson, ready or not, here I come!
The life lessons of a rock star:
1.) Don't be afraid to get out of your comfort zone.
2.) Everyone should at least live in an exotic place once in their life(like Alexandria, LA or better yet...Alaska)
3.) Going the opposite direction of status quo can work to your advantage.
4.) Always travel light...the heavier the load, the more likely you are to let dust turn into mud. Makes it harder to move....
5.) Consider being a generalist...that way you are on the road to becoming a renaissance man/woman. People who are multi-talented are becoming harder to find. Someone may consider paying closer to what you are worth.
So, I am returning "home." To my ol' stompin' grounds. I can only pray that I made the right decision and that I will have nothing but good things in store for my new career as an academic. A cream and crimson academic. In honor of those who party like rock stars if not all their lives, most of it...JLB, Jr., this is for you:
"Indiana, Our Indiana,
Indiana, we're all for you!
We will fight for the cream and crimson,
For the glory of old IU
Never daunted, we cannot falter
In the battle, we're tried and true
Indiana, Our Indiana,
Indiana, we're all for you!"
~Russell P. Harker
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Sealegs and delayed gratification
It's been over four months since I my last blog. Completing a dissertation prevented me from writing since I am focusing all my attention on finishing the final product.
Endurance is the life theme that has permeated through my personal and academic lives for the past four months. I am continually enduring this hazing process that some folks call a doctorate program and at the same time prepared for my second marathon. I would say that completing the marathon was easier to complete than the dissertation. I cannot believe I have come to this conclusion. Perhaps it is due to the fact that I completed the marathon last Sunday and still running the marathon in a metaphoric sense in finishing my dissertation.
One thing that I hate about marathon training is the pain associated 72 hours post-race. When I first crossed the finish line (I will blog about the pain associated with running 26.2 miles at another time), all I could do was sigh with relief. I headed straight to the snack table to later be disappointed by the products within the goody bags (1 banana and 1 snack bar). I rummaged through the other goody bags and took whatever contents I found to fill my empty belly. Then, the fun part, trying to remember how to walk. I slowly hobbled to the massage tent and waited in line for a 10-minute post marathon massage. Ummm...felt good for the 10 minutes...oopsy...got to walk out the tent. So I had to learn the walking all over again.
Travelling back to Battle Creek (BC) was not a walk in the park. Sitting in a car for 2 hours is not fun at all. Getting up the stairs in a three-story house was not something to laugh about either. Would you believe as a means to postpone the pain and agony to go up the stairs, I created all kinds of distractions such as going to Chili's (I got hungry again!), filling the car with gas, and driving around as if I was seeing BC for the first time. Of course, I found anything to do that required limited walking. I finally mustered some courage to drive back to the house to begin the climb to the attic. Ouchy...ouchy!
Preparing for bed and going to sleep for the night did not improve matters. A shower only alleivated the pain for 5 seconds before the achy muscles, inflammation in the knees, and lactic acid reminded me of their presence. Of course, preparing for bed required more trips up and down the stairs...ouchy....ouchy! Then going to sleep. I understand the agony that older people suffer. I felt that my marathon pains were simulations of arthrisitis, buristis, back pain, etc...I remembered getting hungry within 2 hours of my REM 1 (catnap phase) sleep. So, I travelled down three flights of stairs to eat something, but only found 1/2 cup of chocolate soy milk and a piece of bread (I think!). Travelling back up the stairs I hope made me tired enough to fall in a deep sleep. I don't remember much (the pain made me unconscious), but I remembered waking up exhausted and my legs were bent liked two twin peaks. I guess it was too much pain to lay them flat against the mattress.
As if the fun ended that night, I had to travel to Arkansas for a job interview. Every step was a trial of endurance. I dreaded slopes and inclines leading to the places I had to travel. It took me about 8 minutes and 49 seconds to get to the entrance of my school building (normally a 45 second walk). In the airport, every departure and arrival terminal had an incline that looked like I was going up 8 flights of stairs. To make a long story short, I made it through the interview although my host ensured that I felt every ache and pain in my quads, hammies, knees, calves, and feet. We went up and down stairs to meet people. He would say in a coy manner, "Oh...I'm sorry, we should have taken the stairs." I know that he enjoyed every moment. He's an advanced marathon runner who qualified for the Olympic trials several years ago. Pain is not in his vocabulary. He is probably the type who could run 10 marathons in a span of 6 months.
Today is a better day! 72+ hours later (I stopped counting after 72 hours), I regained the feeling back in my legs. No more sealegs and I am sitting here thinking about my next marathon challenge. How sickening is that!
Most of my marathon post-recovery experience greatly relates to my dissertation. It's painful producing draft after draft after draft. You want to see the end of the pain, but it does not seem its in sight. You just keep working until you do.
Recently, I began to see what appeared to be the light at the tunnel. Opportunities to work for prestigious academic institutions appeared to want me for the skills, experiences, and talents that I have to offer. Even in the mist of these hard economic times, God's plans for me include job opportunities. Oh..I am very blessed and not taking it for granted. Finding the endurance to stick with the coursework, fumbling through comprehensive exams, going back to the drawing board time and time again to produce a product that my dissertation committee may agree on, giving up hobbies, quality time with family and friends, struggling to maintain confidence and understand a little about statistics...I think I am beginning to see the benefits of delayed gratification. I can only pray that this new career as a researcher will be better than being a health educator. I hope that the challenges and some rewards that I experienced in my ten years of practice will launch me into a place in life where I may begin to reap the rewards.
And just like the feeling of the marathon medallion being placed around my neck after 4 hours and 35 minutes of running, I pray to feel that same sense of victory when my committee says to me, "You have successful met all the requirements for your doctoral program." Congratulations, Dr. Barnes. Delayed gratification at its best. I am looking forward to rest from having "sealegs" after completing this part of the journey.
Endurance is the life theme that has permeated through my personal and academic lives for the past four months. I am continually enduring this hazing process that some folks call a doctorate program and at the same time prepared for my second marathon. I would say that completing the marathon was easier to complete than the dissertation. I cannot believe I have come to this conclusion. Perhaps it is due to the fact that I completed the marathon last Sunday and still running the marathon in a metaphoric sense in finishing my dissertation.
One thing that I hate about marathon training is the pain associated 72 hours post-race. When I first crossed the finish line (I will blog about the pain associated with running 26.2 miles at another time), all I could do was sigh with relief. I headed straight to the snack table to later be disappointed by the products within the goody bags (1 banana and 1 snack bar). I rummaged through the other goody bags and took whatever contents I found to fill my empty belly. Then, the fun part, trying to remember how to walk. I slowly hobbled to the massage tent and waited in line for a 10-minute post marathon massage. Ummm...felt good for the 10 minutes...oopsy...got to walk out the tent. So I had to learn the walking all over again.
Travelling back to Battle Creek (BC) was not a walk in the park. Sitting in a car for 2 hours is not fun at all. Getting up the stairs in a three-story house was not something to laugh about either. Would you believe as a means to postpone the pain and agony to go up the stairs, I created all kinds of distractions such as going to Chili's (I got hungry again!), filling the car with gas, and driving around as if I was seeing BC for the first time. Of course, I found anything to do that required limited walking. I finally mustered some courage to drive back to the house to begin the climb to the attic. Ouchy...ouchy!
Preparing for bed and going to sleep for the night did not improve matters. A shower only alleivated the pain for 5 seconds before the achy muscles, inflammation in the knees, and lactic acid reminded me of their presence. Of course, preparing for bed required more trips up and down the stairs...ouchy....ouchy! Then going to sleep. I understand the agony that older people suffer. I felt that my marathon pains were simulations of arthrisitis, buristis, back pain, etc...I remembered getting hungry within 2 hours of my REM 1 (catnap phase) sleep. So, I travelled down three flights of stairs to eat something, but only found 1/2 cup of chocolate soy milk and a piece of bread (I think!). Travelling back up the stairs I hope made me tired enough to fall in a deep sleep. I don't remember much (the pain made me unconscious), but I remembered waking up exhausted and my legs were bent liked two twin peaks. I guess it was too much pain to lay them flat against the mattress.
As if the fun ended that night, I had to travel to Arkansas for a job interview. Every step was a trial of endurance. I dreaded slopes and inclines leading to the places I had to travel. It took me about 8 minutes and 49 seconds to get to the entrance of my school building (normally a 45 second walk). In the airport, every departure and arrival terminal had an incline that looked like I was going up 8 flights of stairs. To make a long story short, I made it through the interview although my host ensured that I felt every ache and pain in my quads, hammies, knees, calves, and feet. We went up and down stairs to meet people. He would say in a coy manner, "Oh...I'm sorry, we should have taken the stairs." I know that he enjoyed every moment. He's an advanced marathon runner who qualified for the Olympic trials several years ago. Pain is not in his vocabulary. He is probably the type who could run 10 marathons in a span of 6 months.
Today is a better day! 72+ hours later (I stopped counting after 72 hours), I regained the feeling back in my legs. No more sealegs and I am sitting here thinking about my next marathon challenge. How sickening is that!
Most of my marathon post-recovery experience greatly relates to my dissertation. It's painful producing draft after draft after draft. You want to see the end of the pain, but it does not seem its in sight. You just keep working until you do.
Recently, I began to see what appeared to be the light at the tunnel. Opportunities to work for prestigious academic institutions appeared to want me for the skills, experiences, and talents that I have to offer. Even in the mist of these hard economic times, God's plans for me include job opportunities. Oh..I am very blessed and not taking it for granted. Finding the endurance to stick with the coursework, fumbling through comprehensive exams, going back to the drawing board time and time again to produce a product that my dissertation committee may agree on, giving up hobbies, quality time with family and friends, struggling to maintain confidence and understand a little about statistics...I think I am beginning to see the benefits of delayed gratification. I can only pray that this new career as a researcher will be better than being a health educator. I hope that the challenges and some rewards that I experienced in my ten years of practice will launch me into a place in life where I may begin to reap the rewards.
And just like the feeling of the marathon medallion being placed around my neck after 4 hours and 35 minutes of running, I pray to feel that same sense of victory when my committee says to me, "You have successful met all the requirements for your doctoral program." Congratulations, Dr. Barnes. Delayed gratification at its best. I am looking forward to rest from having "sealegs" after completing this part of the journey.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Here's to the Dynamic Duo!
I was talking with my mom this evening as her and my dad were returning from their grandson's first birthday party. I felt compelled to write my blog posting about them, the dynamic duo!
What makes them the dynamic duo? I would say it is the breadth and depth of the love that they share for one another. When I think of successful marriages, for obvious reasons, my parents rise to the top of the list. I have never met two people who exemplify the words, "love", "sacrificing", "commitment" with such humilty and grace. The hand of God has been and continues to be over their lives. Not only have they set the example of what it means to be present in a marriage, but they also have a lot of fun with one another. When people ask me if my parents are still together, I jokingly respond, "My parents have been together for over thirty years and are STILL all over each other!" Watching them learn and grow together and walking together in this journey we call life is one reason that I do not take marriage lightly. Mom has sacrificed a lot...Dad has sacrificed a lot, but they lovingly do so. It's an awesome example of the partnership God wanted from man and wife.
When it comes to his "good thing" (Prov. 18:22), Dad is very protective of Mom. Not even three knuckleheaded kided would tear them apart. Dad's love for Mom reminds me of the love that Solomon had for his Shulamite bride and that Boaz had for Ruth: passionate, protective, and pure. For those that might get it twisted, it is that "ride or die" love that Jay-Z raps about in his duet with Beyonce (this comparison is specifically for my young yet faithful blog readers).
I had to ask Mom for help in describing her relationship for Dad. She liken it to the relationship shared between Ruth and Naomi..."where you go, I will go," "where you stay, I will stay," and when you take the children to the tennis court, I will stay at home and enjoy peace and quiet" (hee hee). Maybe the last statement is not found in the bible, but Mom has definitely been a woman who sacrifices and places others before herself. She also provides great wisdom similiar to Queen Esther. She cares and often times speaks on the behalf of her husband's, childrens', her brothers', sisters', and mother's and other family members interests. Mom also has tough layering...she is not one to toy with!
Mom and Dad will celebrate thirty-five years of marriage in June. I consider myself very blessed and fortunate to witness the good fruit produce from their commitment to each other.
Here's to the Dynamic Duo!
What makes them the dynamic duo? I would say it is the breadth and depth of the love that they share for one another. When I think of successful marriages, for obvious reasons, my parents rise to the top of the list. I have never met two people who exemplify the words, "love", "sacrificing", "commitment" with such humilty and grace. The hand of God has been and continues to be over their lives. Not only have they set the example of what it means to be present in a marriage, but they also have a lot of fun with one another. When people ask me if my parents are still together, I jokingly respond, "My parents have been together for over thirty years and are STILL all over each other!" Watching them learn and grow together and walking together in this journey we call life is one reason that I do not take marriage lightly. Mom has sacrificed a lot...Dad has sacrificed a lot, but they lovingly do so. It's an awesome example of the partnership God wanted from man and wife.
When it comes to his "good thing" (Prov. 18:22), Dad is very protective of Mom. Not even three knuckleheaded kided would tear them apart. Dad's love for Mom reminds me of the love that Solomon had for his Shulamite bride and that Boaz had for Ruth: passionate, protective, and pure. For those that might get it twisted, it is that "ride or die" love that Jay-Z raps about in his duet with Beyonce (this comparison is specifically for my young yet faithful blog readers).
I had to ask Mom for help in describing her relationship for Dad. She liken it to the relationship shared between Ruth and Naomi..."where you go, I will go," "where you stay, I will stay," and when you take the children to the tennis court, I will stay at home and enjoy peace and quiet" (hee hee). Maybe the last statement is not found in the bible, but Mom has definitely been a woman who sacrifices and places others before herself. She also provides great wisdom similiar to Queen Esther. She cares and often times speaks on the behalf of her husband's, childrens', her brothers', sisters', and mother's and other family members interests. Mom also has tough layering...she is not one to toy with!
Mom and Dad will celebrate thirty-five years of marriage in June. I consider myself very blessed and fortunate to witness the good fruit produce from their commitment to each other.
Here's to the Dynamic Duo!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Out of all the runners...he attempted to beat me!
Preparing for half marathon is part of my regular routine and is high on the list with chats with God, eating, breathing, and working on my dissertation. On Sunday, I ran a half marathon in Ann Arbor. Parts of the course were hilly, some parts were flat. It was perfect running weather. I expected to average about 10:00+ minute per mile and hoped to finish by 2 hours and 5 minutes. To my surprise, I clocked a surprising 1 hour and 54 minutes and 57 seconds. Yes...every minute counts!!!
I recall that I wanted to stop at mile 10, but I would have looked rather silly with only 3.1 miles to go. I shared the roadways with a Latina woman who had an awesome pace. She was consistent. Although I led the way most of the time, she proudly sprinted to victory, passing me with about 800 meters UP HILL! I am sure that seeing her family cheering her towards the finish line was an incredible boost. I was happy for her because she did a great job for her first half marathon. My finish was a little peculiar...
I passed an African American male with 1200 meters left before crossing the finish line. This guy looked like he ran out of gas...everyone passed him including me. With two-three steps remaining, I caught a glimpse of an African American male trying to pass me at the finish! Out of all the runners...he had to pass me! What is that all about! Tall, skinny, stout, White, Black, Latinos, Asians, Biracial, Multiracial folks passed this guy, but he was so determined to pass me at the finish. I have my theories, but I will keep them to myself and allow my faithful blog readers (all two of you!) to make their own conclusion.
Mom and Dad asked, "Did you beat him?" Momma and Pops did not raise no fool. You can bet your last $5 that I did. Well...I did not have a photo to end with this conclusion, but I think I got him on the lean at the tape.
Next stop...Ludington, Michigan. I cannot wait to run across a sand dune!
I recall that I wanted to stop at mile 10, but I would have looked rather silly with only 3.1 miles to go. I shared the roadways with a Latina woman who had an awesome pace. She was consistent. Although I led the way most of the time, she proudly sprinted to victory, passing me with about 800 meters UP HILL! I am sure that seeing her family cheering her towards the finish line was an incredible boost. I was happy for her because she did a great job for her first half marathon. My finish was a little peculiar...
I passed an African American male with 1200 meters left before crossing the finish line. This guy looked like he ran out of gas...everyone passed him including me. With two-three steps remaining, I caught a glimpse of an African American male trying to pass me at the finish! Out of all the runners...he had to pass me! What is that all about! Tall, skinny, stout, White, Black, Latinos, Asians, Biracial, Multiracial folks passed this guy, but he was so determined to pass me at the finish. I have my theories, but I will keep them to myself and allow my faithful blog readers (all two of you!) to make their own conclusion.
Mom and Dad asked, "Did you beat him?" Momma and Pops did not raise no fool. You can bet your last $5 that I did. Well...I did not have a photo to end with this conclusion, but I think I got him on the lean at the tape.
Next stop...Ludington, Michigan. I cannot wait to run across a sand dune!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
It's Great Being an Auntie
I just returned from Arizona after spending two weeks with my niece, Jalyn. She is a precious little thing just like my nephew, CJ. Jalyn may not remember her aunt "P" changing her diapers, fixing her soy milk formula, taking walks to the grocery store, and playing on her baby jungle gym., but for me, it was a blast. I am glad that I could help John and Jessica in taking care of her. I look forward to my next visit although I know that she will grow up quickly.
I was blessed to spend time with CJ when he was 5 days, 6 months, and 8 months old. I cannot believe that he will be 1 year old next week. Pretty soon, I will attend his sporting events, spelling bee tournaments, band concerts, and graduation! Ok...I will slow down a bit, but all I need to do is blink and he will be all grown up!
As I was walking with Jalyn to the grocery store one day, I was thinking how awesome it is that God has already predestined the plans that He has for Jalyn and CJ. It will be their parents', grandparents, trusted godly friends, and this auntie's responsibility to lead them in the way that they should go. There is nothing that we can do to change the plan; we just need to seek God's knowledge and wisdom to determine what is His intentions and make sure that they walk in purpose. That's pretty exciting...God blessed me to be a part of their lives and their future. Whatever it may be, I know something great is in store for the both of them!
Here is to CJ (Curtis, Jr. )and DJ (Diva Jalyn)...may your lives be full of love, joy, and purpose. I will do my best to be a great auntie!
I was blessed to spend time with CJ when he was 5 days, 6 months, and 8 months old. I cannot believe that he will be 1 year old next week. Pretty soon, I will attend his sporting events, spelling bee tournaments, band concerts, and graduation! Ok...I will slow down a bit, but all I need to do is blink and he will be all grown up!
As I was walking with Jalyn to the grocery store one day, I was thinking how awesome it is that God has already predestined the plans that He has for Jalyn and CJ. It will be their parents', grandparents, trusted godly friends, and this auntie's responsibility to lead them in the way that they should go. There is nothing that we can do to change the plan; we just need to seek God's knowledge and wisdom to determine what is His intentions and make sure that they walk in purpose. That's pretty exciting...God blessed me to be a part of their lives and their future. Whatever it may be, I know something great is in store for the both of them!
Here is to CJ (Curtis, Jr. )and DJ (Diva Jalyn)...may your lives be full of love, joy, and purpose. I will do my best to be a great auntie!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
A Heart of a True Champion...
"His accomplishments did not go to his head, but went to his heart." These words were expressed by Mom during a tribute to our dear beloved Uncle Charles' at his funeral last Saturday. Over 200 family, friends, colleagues, and community members who I am sure was touched by Uncle Charles in some way attended the service. Although it is a time of great sadness for the family, it is a joyous time for him because he is in no more pain.
Prior to attending the funeral, I attended a conference in Kentucky where I acknowledged and dedicated my presentation to Uncle Charles. He was very passionate about wellness and communities eliminating disparities in healthcare and achieving parity. Uncle Charles is only one of the few doctors I have met that was more concerned about people than his title. He would greet people with a smile and a handshake with a special "doctor touch" as my mom stated. Regardless of obstacles he faced, he was persistent and sought to win over people who made his work difficult. Uncle Charles was known for his legendary smile, a jolly chuckle, and his commitment to his family and work. I remember the many conversations we had about strategies to use to encourage communities who were disenfranchised to take charge of their health. I never thought that I would have to move forward in this momentous work alone. I always knew that he would be near for me to gain wisdom and knowledge on how to "market" health and wellness in a palatable way for people to receive.
Uncle Charles was surrounded by beloved family and friends at the time of his death. I called my aunt Jeanie one hour prior to his death. My brother, John, called me several hours after my call that he past away. I later heard that there was singing and laughter about the good times accompanied with prayers and tears. The tears were not from Uncle Charles though. He was smiling the entire time because he knew that he was walking straight into the arms of his Lord, Jesus Christ, the One who comforted him during his 14-months with cancer and his entire journey in this game we call "life." Not once did he complain or say anything negative. I believe that he was called to teach us how to be a humble servant in his living and a true warrior, a champion in his death.
I made a slideshow presentation for Aunt Jeanie and my three cousins, Liz, Kathy, and David Charles to celebrate the life of a person that they were proud to call husband and father. I am blessed to have a uncle who encouraged me to be inquisitive and to give as much as I could to a community even when they don't always understand what's important. Uncle Charles left a great legacy. I know that he will always be remembered for his loving spirit, his courageous battle with cancer, and his servant heart for the community he served.
Continue to be a "servant healer" Uncle Charles. Until we meet again....
Prior to attending the funeral, I attended a conference in Kentucky where I acknowledged and dedicated my presentation to Uncle Charles. He was very passionate about wellness and communities eliminating disparities in healthcare and achieving parity. Uncle Charles is only one of the few doctors I have met that was more concerned about people than his title. He would greet people with a smile and a handshake with a special "doctor touch" as my mom stated. Regardless of obstacles he faced, he was persistent and sought to win over people who made his work difficult. Uncle Charles was known for his legendary smile, a jolly chuckle, and his commitment to his family and work. I remember the many conversations we had about strategies to use to encourage communities who were disenfranchised to take charge of their health. I never thought that I would have to move forward in this momentous work alone. I always knew that he would be near for me to gain wisdom and knowledge on how to "market" health and wellness in a palatable way for people to receive.
Uncle Charles was surrounded by beloved family and friends at the time of his death. I called my aunt Jeanie one hour prior to his death. My brother, John, called me several hours after my call that he past away. I later heard that there was singing and laughter about the good times accompanied with prayers and tears. The tears were not from Uncle Charles though. He was smiling the entire time because he knew that he was walking straight into the arms of his Lord, Jesus Christ, the One who comforted him during his 14-months with cancer and his entire journey in this game we call "life." Not once did he complain or say anything negative. I believe that he was called to teach us how to be a humble servant in his living and a true warrior, a champion in his death.
I made a slideshow presentation for Aunt Jeanie and my three cousins, Liz, Kathy, and David Charles to celebrate the life of a person that they were proud to call husband and father. I am blessed to have a uncle who encouraged me to be inquisitive and to give as much as I could to a community even when they don't always understand what's important. Uncle Charles left a great legacy. I know that he will always be remembered for his loving spirit, his courageous battle with cancer, and his servant heart for the community he served.
Continue to be a "servant healer" Uncle Charles. Until we meet again....
Monday, February 16, 2009
Rite of Passage
I talked with a colleague in my doctoral program who was extremely frustrated with her advisor, the research process, and broken expectations. I listened as she poured out her frustrations. As she talked, I could relate to every concerns that she shared. It was refreshing to her from a person whose current reality is full of school, job, and other life obligations. She asked me if I knew what I know now would I want a PhD. Of course, hindsight is 20/20. I told it depends on the day; however, I shared with her that I did not expect to feel incompetent. I often times heard that the more schooling that you receive, the more that you discover that you do not know. I should have asked people who had this belief when did they began to feel "smart" again. I can only have faith that I will empower myself to feel, be, and show more competence after surviving the rite of passage process... the DISSERTATION!
It's painful...
sometimes worse than a sinus infection.
I can never do enough work,
Look to my left, look to my right,
I am surrounded around research articles, books, binders, printer, computer that extend a good 12 feet!
It consumes me,
It's that monkey that won't get off your back....
That itch in the certain of your back that you cannot scratch.
I try to treat it as my second love (of course God comes first)
But it is never satisfied...
It demands more and more of me
It;s painful, I can never do enough work, it consumes me...
My dissertation!
It helps A LOT that I am not working anymore. I cannot believe that I was juggling so much. Now, I have no excuses. I am also grateful for the support received from my family and friends. A PhD is a rite of passage that you cannot do on your own. Well...on that note...I have to work on my dissertation.
It's painful...
sometimes worse than a sinus infection.
I can never do enough work,
Look to my left, look to my right,
I am surrounded around research articles, books, binders, printer, computer that extend a good 12 feet!
It consumes me,
It's that monkey that won't get off your back....
That itch in the certain of your back that you cannot scratch.
I try to treat it as my second love (of course God comes first)
But it is never satisfied...
It demands more and more of me
It;s painful, I can never do enough work, it consumes me...
My dissertation!
It helps A LOT that I am not working anymore. I cannot believe that I was juggling so much. Now, I have no excuses. I am also grateful for the support received from my family and friends. A PhD is a rite of passage that you cannot do on your own. Well...on that note...I have to work on my dissertation.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Over the Rainbow...
Yesterday it was raining cats, dogs, lions, tigers, and bears! Ok...maybe not that terribly, but it rained all day and most of the night. When I got to the gym early evening, the rainstorm cleared and was blessed to see an awesome sight. I wish I had my camera because it was definitely a Kodak moment...a 5-color rainbow clearly hung in the sky like a newly painted masterpiece. It spanned from the corner where gym was located and appeared to spanned miles upward to a bed of clouds surrounded by a blue crisp sky. A couple of thoughts came to my mind.
First, it does not matter how bad my past or my current day are going, there is a place where I can find peace in the storm. It may be in the place that I least expect to find it. Who would have thought that I would find a rainbow arching over Gold's Gym? It was a small reminder from God that I can find a place, a moment, or a creative space where there is no chaos, no earthly demands, no irritating, bossy, people, no dissertation, no sickness, no pain...just beauty and peace.
Secondly, I could not help but think about where the rainbow ends. I also think that things would be better on the other side. Most people look for a pot of gold; I look for other things, but I should not. Not that I stop pursuing my aspirations, but I do not have to try to look so hard for things that I already have. God has given me everything I need. I just need to rest in it. It would be really neat if I had:
My mom's faith...
My dad's devotion...
My bro John's laid back nature...
My bro Curtis charm and money savvy...
My sis-in law Sarah's strength...
My sis in-law Jessica's creativity...
My nephew CJ's ability to see everything new for the second, third, fourth, time..
My niece Jalyn's innocence...
Perhaps that new personality is waiting for me over the rainbow. I would have no doubt that I would be near perfect. Thank God that He found it in this perfect plan to make all these blessed people and placed them in my life so I can enjoy my treasure on Earth.
First, it does not matter how bad my past or my current day are going, there is a place where I can find peace in the storm. It may be in the place that I least expect to find it. Who would have thought that I would find a rainbow arching over Gold's Gym? It was a small reminder from God that I can find a place, a moment, or a creative space where there is no chaos, no earthly demands, no irritating, bossy, people, no dissertation, no sickness, no pain...just beauty and peace.
Secondly, I could not help but think about where the rainbow ends. I also think that things would be better on the other side. Most people look for a pot of gold; I look for other things, but I should not. Not that I stop pursuing my aspirations, but I do not have to try to look so hard for things that I already have. God has given me everything I need. I just need to rest in it. It would be really neat if I had:
My mom's faith...
My dad's devotion...
My bro John's laid back nature...
My bro Curtis charm and money savvy...
My sis-in law Sarah's strength...
My sis in-law Jessica's creativity...
My nephew CJ's ability to see everything new for the second, third, fourth, time..
My niece Jalyn's innocence...
Perhaps that new personality is waiting for me over the rainbow. I would have no doubt that I would be near perfect. Thank God that He found it in this perfect plan to make all these blessed people and placed them in my life so I can enjoy my treasure on Earth.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Life is surreal...
Blogging was a backseat passenger in the past two months. December and January were marked with physical and professional transitions.
First, I gave up my "cheechako" Alaskan status and now reside temporarily in Cereal City, USA. Yes, I have a taken a slight U-turn and returned to Battle Creek, MI so I may complete my last two semesters of my docotral program. I have to admit that it was very odd for me to re-enter Battle Creek after a 10 hour drive. Everything was almost how I left it with the exception of a few new billboards. Sometimes change just eludes people, places, and things and Battle Creek just happens to be one of those places.
The second transition is that I went from being gainfully employed to an unemployed full-time student. What a decision particularly in these hard economic times as President Obama attempts to pass the stimulus bill. Perhaps I will be a beneficiary of it! Thank God it passed! Now, I have no excuses to FINISH my doctorate. My dissertation writing has my undivided attention. I cannot believe that I worked the majority of my graduate studies. As my sister-in-law, Jessica, observed my so called blog should have "gypsy" in the title. So true to form, my blog title has officially changed from "My Alaskan Adventure" to "My Gypsy Adventure." I can describe how I travel state to state, house to house mooching off of family and friends and seeing how long I can survive eating high fiber bread, turkey, a can of tuna, diet pepsi (caffeine free of course!) . Just kidding! I am amazed how my mom, dad, brothers, sis-in-laws, extended family, and even CJ (at ripe 8-months) have been very supportive.
Life is surreal! When I think of all the things that I have been blessed to do in the past 2 1/2 years, I am flabbergasted! Dog mushing, shooting rifles and an archery bow on the range, going to the Moose Dropping festival, ice fishing, cross country skiing, midnight hikes with moose lurking at every corner, stepping aboard an Air Force aircraft, jumping high as I touch the sky on top of Flattop mountain...I cannot believe that I was able to help a person or two along the way. I know that my return to Battle Creek will not even exceed my Alaskan Adventure. Maybe if I compete with some of Kellogg finest in a cereal eating contest to see who can hold the most fiber? Naw...nothing will compare.
First, I gave up my "cheechako" Alaskan status and now reside temporarily in Cereal City, USA. Yes, I have a taken a slight U-turn and returned to Battle Creek, MI so I may complete my last two semesters of my docotral program. I have to admit that it was very odd for me to re-enter Battle Creek after a 10 hour drive. Everything was almost how I left it with the exception of a few new billboards. Sometimes change just eludes people, places, and things and Battle Creek just happens to be one of those places.
The second transition is that I went from being gainfully employed to an unemployed full-time student. What a decision particularly in these hard economic times as President Obama attempts to pass the stimulus bill. Perhaps I will be a beneficiary of it! Thank God it passed! Now, I have no excuses to FINISH my doctorate. My dissertation writing has my undivided attention. I cannot believe that I worked the majority of my graduate studies. As my sister-in-law, Jessica, observed my so called blog should have "gypsy" in the title. So true to form, my blog title has officially changed from "My Alaskan Adventure" to "My Gypsy Adventure." I can describe how I travel state to state, house to house mooching off of family and friends and seeing how long I can survive eating high fiber bread, turkey, a can of tuna, diet pepsi (caffeine free of course!) . Just kidding! I am amazed how my mom, dad, brothers, sis-in-laws, extended family, and even CJ (at ripe 8-months) have been very supportive.
Life is surreal! When I think of all the things that I have been blessed to do in the past 2 1/2 years, I am flabbergasted! Dog mushing, shooting rifles and an archery bow on the range, going to the Moose Dropping festival, ice fishing, cross country skiing, midnight hikes with moose lurking at every corner, stepping aboard an Air Force aircraft, jumping high as I touch the sky on top of Flattop mountain...I cannot believe that I was able to help a person or two along the way. I know that my return to Battle Creek will not even exceed my Alaskan Adventure. Maybe if I compete with some of Kellogg finest in a cereal eating contest to see who can hold the most fiber? Naw...nothing will compare.
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